Tuesday, 26 June 2012

A pinch to grow an inch...

Sometimes the things that make the greatest impression on a mother's heart are those things that are the saddest.  The wry and funny things, those that are laughed at loud and long, are the ones that slip quickest from our memories.  Pity, that.

I had a sad one to deal with the other day.  I took the boys to kindergarten, and, as is my habit, stayed around for a few minutes longer just to make sure that they were settling in and didn't need me before I left to do the day's chores.  The boys are normally very conscious about me being with them for that time, and they take it upon themselves to show me around the kindy importantly, pointing out things I might not have noticed on one of my other humdred trips there.  With great excitement, they led me around, showing me the swings, the lovely playground, the computers.  

One large disadvantage of having the mother along, though, is the fact that normal small infractions of the rules that usually go unnoticed are suddenly remarked on and corrected.  I could see that one of my two had had enough when I asked him not to put the glass bricks on top of one another on the table, in case they fell off and were damaged.
In a fit of pique, he said to me "Please go home now, Mama!"

"Ok," I said, "I will go home now if you want me too."
I tried to act casual, like it was no big deal, but perhaps I am not as good an actress as I think I am.  I gathered my things and started walking towards the door.
Within a few heartbeats, I heard loud sobs coming from behind me as my little boy came flying to find me.
"I am so sorry, Mama," he was crying over and over, "I didn't really mean what I said."

Trying to leave the kindy after that became a mission impossible.  Every time I tried to walk towards the door, he would break out into a new fit of hysteria, and I would have to console him again and try to get him to go back to his group.  Eventually, I had to hand him over to his teacher, leaving him crying as though his heart was broken.  It was the first time I have had to leave one of them upset, and I drove home like a mad thing, to jump on the phone to find out if all was okay with my little boy yet.  Of course, he had been fine the moment I pulled out of the parking lot.

But I was made aware of just how sensitive a young child's soul can be.  Later that night, as I was putting them to bed, thinking the whole incident forgotten, he looked deeply into my eyes, just as I do to them when I want them to understand some thing really important.  Then he said to me, "I really didn't mean it, Mama.  I don't ever want you to leave me".  

And so I could go to bed that night, secure in my boy's love for me.  What a great feeling.

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